June 3, 2013


Thinking about the LA race riots…also known as the Zoot Suit Riots… Luis Valdez’ character El Pachuco with impeccable insight by saying “The press distorted the very meaning of the word ‘Zoot Suit.’ All it is for you guys is another way to say Mexican”…70 years have passed and somehow we are still dealing with their other ways to say Mexican like ‘illegal’…yet the culture constantly being imitated with images of sugar skulls and Virgen de Guadalupes and how everyone wants a lowrider and tres puntos tattoo and Mexican blankets…to that I say, don’t hate us, congratulate us…because we have survived over 500 years of hate…and made new the scraps that were dealt to us…and being indigenous to these continents, although born on the other side of some gava’s border…we didn’t come here on boats…we didn’t bring disease or preach a doctrine of discovery…we knew then and now that all living beings have a right to migrate…and live in respect to the earth because she is our mother and she is alive…Aqui estamos y no nos vamos…c/s

Thinking about the LA race riots…also known as the Zoot Suit Riots… Luis Valdez’ character El Pachuco with impeccable insight by saying “The press distorted the very meaning of the word ‘Zoot Suit.’ All it is for you guys is another way to say Mexican”…70 years have passed and somehow we are still dealing with their other ways to say Mexican like ‘illegal’…yet the culture constantly being imitated with images of sugar skulls and Virgen de Guadalupes and how everyone wants a lowrider and tres puntos tattoo and Mexican blankets…to that I say, don’t hate us, congratulate us…because we have survived over 500 years of hate…and made new the scraps that were dealt to us…and being indigenous to these continents, although born on the other side of some gava’s border…we didn’t come here on boats…we didn’t bring disease or preach a doctrine of discovery…we knew then and now that all living beings have a right to migrate…and live in respect to the earth because she is our mother and she is alive…Aqui estamos y no nos vamos…c/s

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October 29, 2012


Aztleca’s Sunrise

4 am…

I wake up in the cold

En la obscuridad

In Grandmother’s comforting glow on the Earth

She knows what we are preparing for

I am ready in full regalia

Feathers arranged in my Copilli charged with carrying my prayers

Sonaja in my hand

Ayoyotes around my ankles calling, chattering

I near the others who are waiting

En la obscuridad

Waiting to say goodbye to our Elder

I feel the cool night’s kiss on my temples and the back of my neck and legs

Striking a match to light the ocote

It becomes instantaneous glowing warmth

The sweet scent of sizzling sap

Makes my heart silently sing

The mesquite arranged like a pyramid begins smoking as it lights

Copal humeando

En la obscuridad

It enters my mouth and nose

The sacred smoke digs deep into my lungs and heart

Pulling out an alabanza from my soul

An audible prayer

Caracoles suenan

It means it is time

We begin to build the altar

Sahumado las ofrendas

Recibiendo los que han llegado

The figures mystically appear from every side

En la obscuridad

We sing cantos lentos

Cantos para pedir permiso

Flowers are being arranged in the Santo Xochitl

They seem like they are patiently waiting to receive their new companion

Our Elder

‘Mi Nombre es Aztleca…Porque soy de Aztlan’

His powerful name and words said aloud for the last time

In his honor

En la obscuridad

His ashes lovingly embraced amongst flores

Sahumadores humeando

Sacred smoke filling the dawn

Tenderly welcoming the new light

As the night dies

And the new day is born

Quedan las palabras en silencio

En la obscuridad

Tambores begin pounding with the energy of our Father

Our bodies, vessels offering honoring danzas

As Tonatiuh rises over all of us

Shining intensely on our faces, backs and prayers

He leads the procession

With trails of serpent like smoke

Filling the air and our path

Cantando

Danzando

Con alegria

En el camino de la Luz

What is left are only flores and ashes scattered in the beloved Parque

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August 3, 2012


Fuck you…I wrote this poem instead…

I almost called you today…

Mostly to tell you off

I wanted to spill my anger

And my hurt

All over your head

And down your face

And into your ears

And make them pop like when the airplane cabin loses pressure

I wanted it to irritate your eyes

To make you cry

And feel insecure

And give you a runny nose

Enough to give you sinus pain

As if you just inhaled water

And then I wanted to run into your mouth

And give you a sore throat

And maybe heartburn

Like from cheap diner meatloaf

Enough to make you feel sick

Like a chain fast food joint’s heatlamped burger

I wanted your stomach to hurt

Like the feeling you get when you know something bad is going to happen

And you just cant stop it

I wanted to make you feel not ‘good enough’

Like if you were watching your first love walk off with some other fool

I wanted to embarrass you

Like you were back in kindergarten and couldn’t ‘hold it’

I wanted to make you feel stupid

Like you were being punked by all the cool kids in junior high

I wanted you to regret

Like never getting to say ‘good bye’

I wanted to call you today

I wanted to do with that one phone call

Everything you did to me…

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July 10, 2012


Words mean nothing other than what I feel…

I could sit quietly…

Alone…

And wait for the dust to settle…

Changing silk to scales…

Curls to cobwebs…

Forever…

And let it all pass by…

I could say…

‘Let me be’…

But they won’t…

I could think…

‘Leave good enough alone’…

But it never is…

Mixing and molding and pushing and pulling…

Spoils the fruit…

Rots it away…

With every touch…

I could stay still…

Mummified and preserved…

Almost perfect…

Closed lips…

Hands gently folded…

Legs tied…

Eyes shut…

While it all falls down…

I could…

Well…

I could try…

If I really wanted to…

But I am not one to go quietly

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July 1, 2012


My Uterus…

If it wasn’t for my uterus…

my heart would have fallen out by now.

Instead

alli esta

rattling around like a pebble in a tin can

from my fingertips to my ears

between my lips and my knees

collecting miles like a frequent flyer

then sometimes just laying still in my feet

I would’ve gladly pissed it out…

on any drunken night

and flushed it down the plumbing

like a ex-lover’s burning letter

pero aunque me den en la puritita madre

alli esta

still rattling

sometimes beating

bleeding like clockwork on the 28th day

If it weren’t for my uterus…

(who has long taken root

around the walls of my insides)

Id be completely empty…

It serves as a safety net

for a pounding little acrobat

a retaining wall of sorts

to keep the erosion to a minimum

If it weren’t for my uterus

My heart would’ve fallen out a long time ago

But it rattles in a hollow space

Depending on the direction I am moving

Still beating… not like yours

Maybe like a tiny maraca

Or sometimes like the nearing thunder

Rarely, finding its place

Occasionally still

Sometimes close to silent

Pero alli estan…los dos…tal para qual…

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June 24, 2012


I remember you…

After all these years.

I can close my eyes and see your face,

your shadow over my small frame,

gentle giant.

I remember your lips,

and the waves in your hair…

like the midnight ocean,

and how your hand, so big…

combed my fingers wide like a small silk fan.

I remember the songs…

on the mixedtape,

and the base in your trunk…

that I felt running through my throat.

I remember that night…

when you kissed me,

and I cried because I didnt want my Jefita to know,

or your sister.

I remember when I lost my jacket…

and you covered me with your brown skin…

and my hair that night.

I remember your flat feet,

in the sand…

the prints of your sturdy walk,

and how your mouth moved with every perfect word.

Time has erased the details…

of the last phone call when we said good-bye,

the whereabouts of that charm bracelet you gave me,

or what ever happened to the mixed tape.

But…I remember you.

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Beautiful photos and poems you post sis! Respects!
trustyourstrugglecollective

Thank you…I appreciate your comment…and the time you allowed me to share my thoughts with you…

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January 22, 2012


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December 7, 2011


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November 11, 2011


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